Monday, June 18, 2012

Melodrama Sunday!

Ok! Yesterday was almost uneventful. Still bored, had nothing to do… walked around the rig like 10 times, tried to look busy for the company rep. My day usually starts with me receiving handover notes from the night crew, place a call to my project coordinator in town about what has been happening so far *a little gossip too*. Then I faff around ** till 10 AM. This takes me to my favourite time of the day! Tea Break!

Tea break in the coffee room is something else! It’s not like we have a party or anything like that. Matter of fact, I just make my coffee and get a strategic spot to seat. From there, its camera, lights, action! The rig hands (roustabouts, roughnecks, deck crew, crane operators, drillers, etc) all hang out there for the next thirty minutes and entertain the service hands (us). Most times I end up laughing really hard, my ribs start aching (I haven’t even mentioned the many tears I have shed!). Well yesterday’s gist was hilarious as usual. The gist was centered around one of the rig hands, let’s call him Buddy(the reason for that name will come soon). ‘Buddy’ calls himself the corrosion engineer (he’s actually the paint foreman in charge of painting the rig and keeping it all shiny!) The rig hands were seriously complaining about how tired they were of ‘Buddy’s borrowed oyinbo accent! Surprisingly, everyone seemed agitated by this topic. Phrases like (Forgive the French…they are not my actual words) “Hey Buddy! Swing your ass over here” and “I’m gonna screw your ass buddy!” were just flying about! I didn’t really understand what they were talking about till the ‘Buddy’ in question came in….. I was no longer surprised. He went like(In the 'fakest' American accent ever)  “Hey buddy! What’s happening mehn?”  Everyone started laughing at him. There were also shouts of ‘Shut up!’ and ‘Go and sit down!’ And then he was like “If y’all don’t stop laughing, I’m gonna screw your asses!”  The laughs continued. Then a guy stood up (lets call him Marco) and said ‘Hey buddy, we are roommates, I ain't gonna let you screw my ass! I go wear pampers plus two jeans (pair of jeans) join tonight!”  The laughs got worse! And just like that a fight ensued! Imagine huge guys fighting and all! Gosh! I literally crawled (under tables) away from there.

Nothing eventful happened during the afternoon. I just had my usual tiny lunch**. And shopped online (oh la la!).  Evening came and since it was Sunday, it was barbeque night. Barbeque night is usually held at the head of the ship so everyone gets to eat (oily and cold food) outside. Oh yeah! Almost forgot! You get to feed huge schools of fish with your leftovers. For the past twenty-four days, I have been having just one meal per day (story about that coming soon!) so I wanted to have another meal! It was an okay meal (but cold and gamey and oily). It’s just 8:30 PM….there’s a drill every Sunday by 9:30PM so I decided to while away time before the drill by browsing in the computer room. It wasn’t the best of experience but once bitten twice shy! Everyone kept searching for me on facebook (hid myself! :P). This went on and on till the drill. Drill came and went…… (o_o)…decided to take a run on the treadmill in the gym. I successfully did 2 kilometers and decided to end the day with some quality time in the sauna.

This is when the day became eventful!

So it’s a safety rule not to lock any door on the rig. The sauna room has two signs to put up on the door to let people know if it’s guys or ladies that are currently using it. So I put up ‘Ladies’ sign. I’m pretty sure I had spent only about 5 minutes in the sauna (already feeling relaxed and good) when two white dudes just opened the door!!!!!!!  My eyes were just like O_O then O_o (WTH??? Thank God I had my towel on!) They were equally shocked (so they appeared)!!! Apparently someone decided to be funny (not fair) and change the signs on the door (that’s what they told me when I came out). 

The things I see!

Remember. I do this for fun.


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